I was a bird in the hand of God.

I was two in the bush,

the yin to my own yang, yang to yin,
drink­ing gin on the porch at midnight,
or oth­er­wise drink­ing tea – you see

how it is – Bach on Tues­days – Thursdays
acid rock, tie-dyed t‑shirts and jeans.
Morn­ings I fed the needy and blessed
their souls with sticky kisses.
I sang to them and lotioned their feet
with lilac cream and pep­per­mint oil,
hum­bled by their pover­ty, inspired
by the way they got out of bed
with­out cig­a­rettes or coffee.
After­noons I cursed their lazy
ass­es and stepped over them
in the streets on my way to the pub
seek­ing a lit­tle warmth or a qui­et corner
in which to pon­der the implication
of lips on brass, to dance, unmolested,
with my own shad­ow, which was my worst enemy,
and, con­spic­u­ous­ly, my only friend.

I was a bird in the hand of God.

I was two in the bush.

I was a pair of white pants in a drive
by pud­dle splash, a drunk with beer down
the front of my shirt. I was ketchup
on my own sleeve, a rash on an otherwise
clear face, a taint­ed, defiled disaster,
stained by life, soiled and damn near effaced
by that often unrec­og­niz­able prankster,
my trou­ble­mak­er, my doppelganger,
that saucy vamp, grace.

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